


Life After You

by applegrass23



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Episode AU: s02e13 Doomsday, Post-Episode: s02e13 Doomsday, Pregnant Rose Tyler
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:15:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21545134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/applegrass23/pseuds/applegrass23
Summary: When the multiverse separated Rose Tyler from her Doctor, all she wants is to be reunited with him. After all hopes of a reunion are dashed, she says a final goodbye to him on Bad Wolf Bay, and he does not even get to finish his last sentence, she realises that the Doctor left her with more than she had noticed before. But how does she go on from here?  And how does the Doctor live on, without Rose Tyler to hold his hand?
Relationships: Tenth Doctor & Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler, The Doctor (Doctor Who)/Rose Tyler
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just could not resist writing one of these. It was too tempting - I mean R T Davies just put it right there in Doomsday! 
> 
> Starts with their final conversation in Doomsday and AU from thereon.

“I love you,” under her tears, she had finally said it. Because some things just need to be said.

“Quite right,” he smiled with a touch of deep, deep sadness. “And I suppose, if it is my last chance to say it…. Rose Tyler, I…”

And that was when his image faded and left was just the heartbroken young woman, tears dripping from her face, which she tried to wipe away as best as she could.

It was so cliché, she thought, the location of their final goodbye. This made her smile even under tears. A beautiful beach in Norway. Bad Wolf Bay. The scenery was both beautiful and dramatic. She would have loved it here if it was not now forever linked to the last time she saw her favourite eyes in the whole of the universe.

Rose never thought that it would end like this. Just before they got separated in the battle of Canary Wharf, she told him that she was never going to leave him, that she would stay forever. And she did mean every word of what she had said to him. She was never going to leave him, she had made her choice on that a long time ago. She just never seriously thought about this choice being violently taken away from her.

The Doctor, he was now out there, as he said, the last of the time lords, saving the world over and over. And she was not there with him. How can he just go on like that?

She knew deep down that this was a selfish thought. The universe needed the Doctor, and Rose wanted him to be happy, despite her selfish and irrational wish to have him for herself. She could never expect of him to just spend the rest of his long, long life in sadness and pining after her. As much as she thought this was what she would do for the rest of her life – she just could not imagine ever being able to love again.

Yes, one might be able to put this down to her being so young, easily impressionable, and inexperienced. But she felt that it was not true. Of course, no fourteen-year-old girl who just got dumped by her boyfriend of two weeks would admit that the pain will pass either, so there is always a question of how much to make of these things. Maybe everyone was right and she would just get over it, meet a nice guy, settle down, and only think about the good memories with the Doctor, that she was so fond of, without any pain.

Maybe she would be able to move on. She didn't know.

What she did know though, is that it felt pretty much impossible right now. Being away from the doctor, it has felt like having her heart ripped out when she was first trapped her, with the impenetrable wall between the dimensions separating her from her love.

And now it was feeling exactly like this all over again. When she felt like he was calling her here, she just allowed herself to hope, that maybe, maybe, he found a way to come and get her.

For the last three months, she had been living half a life. After a few weeks, she was vaguely functional, she even accepted the job at Torchwood that Pete offered her, and threw herself into work. She managed to eat, somehow, and survive. But she did not live, barely exist. She was just feeling so empty, and devoid of all meaning. When she was walking through town, she felt nothing, was completely numb. It felt like there was a wall between her and any real emotions. The only time she allowed herself to feel real emotions was when she was alone at night. She had cried herself to sleep every single night, hoping that the tears would just somehow dry out soon.

The reason she tried so hard to put up the façade of doing better, of getting her life together, was because she could not talk about it. Whenever she talked about it, she would break down. Whenever in the last months, her mother Jackie tried to start a conversation about the Doctor, to offer some comfort, Rose just shut down. Talking it through would not make it better. It would just intensify the excruciating pain she was feeling. Every mention of the Doctor felt like needles through her heart and knifes cutting her skin.

And she was not even sure what the Doctor was to her. Well, that was not true – she knew what he meant to her. Everything. Even if that is a cliché way to say this – she truly felt like she would give up everything in the entire universe just to see him again. She loved him and he knows that now. And that maybe makes her feel marginally better. A very, very small margin, but marginally better. She had never told him that she loved him before and it was good to be truthful with him, as she would never see him again.

Did he mean to say it to? How was his sentence going to end? She already feels like this question is one she will wrestle with for the rest of her days. Did he really love her? Can he really love her? I mean, he is a time lord after all, and she is only a stupid ape, or so she must look to him. How could he ever fall in love with someone like her? Maybe, even if he was meaning to say what she so desperately wanted him to, he perhaps only meant that he loved her like a good friend.

She felt like her head was going to explode, bursting with all these thoughts of what was, and what could have been.

Were they friends or were they lovers? She was not sure. Obviously, that was tied to the other question she just could not solve – what she meant to him. It had always felt like there was something between them, call it chemistry, a spark, or pure compatibility. But maybe that was all just in her head and he never saw it that way. Perhaps to him, she was just his best friend Rose, that he had a lot of fun with.

Well, there is one night which would definitely suggest otherwise though. Which would definitely suggest they were not just best mates but more than that.

Well, she guessed, it would still allow for a reading as a drunken mistake, or friends with benefits, or however you want to call it. They had both had a few too many drinks in the TARDIS to celebrate them being reunited after encountering Satan’s Pit. They were just so joyful having each other back after all. She smiled at the thought.

Then, one thing led to another and they started kissing. She does not even remember who started it, but what she does remember is how great it felt, and how complete she felt when her lips were finally touching his. Soon, they were not just kissing… It was an interesting experience, to be with someone who was not human. But it was the Doctor, how could she not have loved it more than anything else in the world. Though she did wish she had been sober, and she did wish that they had talked about it after it happened.

They never did – their time ran out shortly after that and they were too busy saving the world, again.

Rose had also just been too scared to bring it up. Too scared that it did not mean to him what it did to her. If that was the truth, she wanted to rather live in blissful ignorance at that point. That was her view back then. Now, she would rather know. Just one truth. She just needs this answer, the end of the Doctor’s sentence just now, so badly. To know that maybe it meant something to him too.

As she was just standing there, staring at the empty air where he, or more accurately, his projection, had just stood, thinking about what happened and what to do now, her family was slowly approaching her to comfort her. Jackie hugged her and Rose cried in her arms.

During the entire drive back to London, which took hours and hours, no one said anything. Rose felt like everyone was waiting for her to say something, but she still did not want to talk about it at all. What was there to be said? There was nothing to be said by anyone of them, be it her mum, Pete, or Mickey, that would bring him back. That would be the only thing that would make her feel any better. Any talk about him just alerted her to the empty space by her side and in her heart.

A week after the damned Trip to Norway, she realised something that she did not register during this time of complete numbness.

And suddenly it hit her like a ton of bricks.

She had not had her period for a really long time. Sure, it had been irregular since she first boarded the TARDIS, and that never bothered her, also because for most of that time, she never had a reason to worry.

But now, there was this fateful night. And she was absolutely certain she had never had a period in the over three months now she had spent in Pete’s world. Could that mean…?

It did add up. Of course, it was a long shot, she did not even know whether such an interspecies pregnancy was theoretically possible. But it would explain her feeling sick all the time – which she had previously just put down to her sadness and numbness. She does tend to feel sick when she gets her heart broken and as this was as broken as her heart had ever been, she had not been surprised by her very erratic appetite (or often rather lack thereof) and frequent sickness. But now, there is a different interpretation to all of this.

Maybe it was all wishful thinking. After all, even though the thought of being pregnant and alone, having a child that might not be fully human, terrifies her to the core, it would mean that she could keep this part of him. She realised when thinking this, how selfish it really was, as it would mean for her child to grow up without their father and for their father to never know his child.

So, when she went to the drugstore to buy a pregnancy test, she was not scared at all.

When she went home, peed on the stick and two lines appeared, her feelings about that changed a little. She was overcome by a wave of terror – all of the fears about the situation amplified and she broke down crying. While she still loved the idea of carrying her and the Doctor’s love child, the reality seemed a bit more grim than the theory.

The future was scary, and even more so without the alien she loved most in the entire world. Her Doctor.

For now, however, she had to go and see an actual doctor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first work in the Doctor Who Fandom, so I hope it is not too bad! Constructive criticism always welcome.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose faces the reality of being pregnant and alone. Not knowing what to do, she decides to ask Mickey for help.

After a few hours of denial, staring at her bedroom wall, and thinking and overthinking, back and forth, Rose was still trying to make a decision about what to do next. Of course, she should see a doctor (it was quite ironic actually, given the other person she really needed now was the Doctor, but that was not going to happen), but which doctor?

What if the baby has two heartbeats? It was not too unlikely really – assuming neither of their genetic makeup was particularly dominant over the other, there was a fifty percent chance really, that it was going to have two hearts. She guessed.

Obviously, she really had no idea. It could be completely different – who knew, maybe it was all or nothing and the baby was either a normal human or a full Gallifreyan. If the latter, she would have a small problem of actually raising a child so radically different from herself and everyone around her. Without their father, the only being in the universe who would be able to relate to the child.

He would not be the last of the time lords anymore. This thought made Rose smile faintly. Her smile faded quickly though, given that this was only on the off-chance the baby actually had significant part Gallifreyan genetic makeup, and, more importantly and devastatingly, even if it had, would it even count? Stuck in a different parallel universe – would it not be dead, not even existent, to the prime universe, just as Rose was now?

Was she dead to him, too? Officially declared dead, the Doctor said. He was probably just out there saving the world, as he always was, having found someone else to replace her. She felt jealousy rising at the thought of someone sharing similar moments and adventures with the Doctor as she had, but quickly calmed down thinking that he really should not travel alone, and it was probably for the best, if he had found someone to go with him.

She did selfishly hope though, that they did not mean as much to him as she had.

While all she really wanted to do right now was to wallow about the Doctor, she realised that she had to stop throwing herself a stupid little pity party. Another life, that she created, was completely dependent on her for survival, and she needed to protect it at all costs. It was the result of love, she thought. How cheesy. Really, it was probably the result of alcohol, suppressed feelings, and lust. Yes, she loved him, and she hoped so much that he loved her too, but there was no sugar coating to be done about how this child was actually conceived.

Unless.. it is not the Doctor’s. Not that it would be a ‘child of love’ then, given the Doctor was the only one she had ever loved this deeply. It was also impossible, given that she had not slept with anyone else, her ex-boyfriend Mickey for example, in quite a long time. Literally the only alternative to the Doctor being the father was immaculate conception, and she knew that this had not happened for at least two thousand years, and she really hoped her child would not spark the foundation of yet another religion.

She laughed hesitantly. Where her mind went sometimes… At least she had not lost all of her humour in this bloody tragedy.

She still was not quite sure whether to rate this new development as even more tragic – a child who would never meet its father – or as the glimmer of hope that might pull her through this dark time of her life. Now she had a reason to go on, to be the best mother to this child.

If she was actually pregnant. Her thoughts ran away with her again.

First things first, she really needed to actually make a decision on who to seek out for actual medical advice – essentially, she had two options. To consult with someone at Torchwood working in the medical and biological department, especially in case the child does have two hearts, or to just go to a normal gynaecologist, like any potentially pregnant woman. The latter runs the risk of having quite a bit of explaining to do in case the baby does have two hearts.

Maybe she should talk to her Mum or Pete about it.

She knew she had to tell them at some point anyway, she could hardly keep this a secret forever. She was going to get bigger…

Unless she decided to have an abortion, the thought rushed through her head.

She did firmly believe that anyone should feel free to make this decision, but it did not feel right for her. Obviously, she would be open for reconsideration if it turned out that her own life was in danger (given that this pregnancy was likely to be more high risk than most traditionally considered high risk pregnancies on earth –the father of the child not being human and all.)

Okay, focus, she told herself. Was that beginning pregnancy brain or were her thoughts always so scattered?

So, telling her parents. She wasn’t sure about that. This was probably not the way they wanted to become grandparents. Or, well, her mum becoming a grandmother. The situation of her being young and alone, in a completely different parallel world to the child’s father. And her mother had never quite approved of the Doctor in her life – well, she did accept him kind of eventually. But she never knew that there was something beyond friendship in their relationship – at least she was definitely not aware anything happened between them.

So Jackie might be completely shocked to find out. She could just tell Pete… but he was quite likely to tell Jackie. He might give her some advice on how to consult Torchwood/ UNIT about it though, which would be helpful. That was really what she needed.

But maybe she should ask someone else. Someone familiar with Torchwood, but not Pete. Mickey? He still came around a lot, given that he was basically a family friend, as close to Jackie as to Rose. And Rose did trust him – while all of her romantic feelings were gone a long time ago, she still felt like she could count on him. He had saved her (and the Doctor) more than once.

Rose thought that was a great plan. What she did not consider though, was that Mickey’s feelings for her were not as long gone as vice versa, and that while he did not love her in the same way anymore, it still stung for him.

She had asked him to come and visit the Tyler mansion and they had sat down on Rose’s bed in her room. Pete had turned one of the multiple guest rooms into Rose’s room once it emerged that she would live with them for a while until she found her own place. Rose felt that both Jackie and Pete also partly just wanted to keep an eye on her, as if they were scared she was going to hurt herself. Not that she was going to do that, but she understood their concern in some way, as she was in the darkest place of her life so far.

“So,” Mickey started, “why did you ask me to come ‘round?”

“Can’t I ask an old friend to come by and catch up over a cup of coffee?” Rose replied half-jokingly.

“Well, for once, there is no coffee here currently, and secondly, you know that we’re much more complicated than old friends.” Mickey swallowed. “And… you never asked me before to just come by, since you arrived here.”

“Okay, you got me. Actually, I do want to talk to you about something. Ask you for advice…” Rose stared at the wall, seemingly struggling for words. She just didn’t know how to say it. How do you tell your ex-boyfriend that you’re possibly pregnant with the man (alien!) you left him for… It dawned on her that this may not have been as good of an idea as she had thought before.

“Advice on what?”

“Okay.” Rose sighed. “Don’t quite know how to say it… I think I am pregnant.”

Now she had said it, it was out there.

Mickey’s expression was priceless. He just sat there, staring at her, looking away, staring at her again, slightly shaking his head… before he got himself to speak:

“Ehh… Rose? We didn’t… do that since quite a while ago? Like… if that was the case, we would already have a child… it’s been longer than nine months? Or was I drunk -”

“No, no, no,” Rose hastily interrupted him. “It is not yours.”

“Why are you telling me then, Rose?”

There was an awkward silence then, before Mickey realised his harsh tone and corrected himself:

“Sorry, that sounded harsh. You know I am always here for you, as your friend…. But, if you don’t mind me asking – who is the father then?”

Rose bit her lip and stared at her toes as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. She had to be honest with him, but she already knew this answer was going to hurt him more than any other possible answer.

The longer she remained quiet, the more it dawned on him after all. Mickey was Mickey the Idiot no longer.

“You and… You and… You and the Doctor? But… you told me you didn’t… Tell me if it is true, Rose! And… you and ‘im – does that even work? I mean, you’re different… He is an alien, are you even – compatible?”

She nodded lightly.

“Yes… And I didn’t lie to you, Mickey, I really didn’t, we never… it was only once.” She felt tears filling her eyes. She wished it had meant more than that, that they had actually been together properly, but that hadn’t been the case, she had told Mickey the truth about that. “And I didn’t think we were compatible either, Mickey. I really didn’t… that’s why I was so stupid and careless… I am such an idiot.” Tears started streaming down her face.

Carefully, Mickey put his arm around her shoulder. He was going to be there for Rose, even if it hurt him unbearably much.

“Okay, Rose. That is... a lot. But I am here for you. For whatever you need.”

He hugged her and she dried her tears on his sweater. Rose felt terrible – ashamed as Mickey clearly was not as done with their relationship as she was. But also sad, because the man she actually loved, the father of her child… well, he wasn’t there.

Still, she was grateful to have Mickey. Freeing herself from the hug, she breathed in and out. Pulling herself together. She was going to be strong now. If only for her child. And the Doctor had always believed in her, above anything else. She had done so much, seen so much. She could do this. She had to.

“Listen, one of the reasons I told you about this is because I am a bit concerned. I am all alone… And as you said, this baby isn’t human. Or probably at least not entirely so. What do I do? Do I go to a normal doctor and what if they see the baby has two hearts? But where else can I go? Do you know someone, at Torchwood maybe?”

Mickey took his time and seemed to consider the options.

“Listen, Rose. It is your choice entirely – I am afraid I don’t know of anyone with huge knowledge of Human-Gallifreyan pregnancies. But we do have a small medical department at Torchwood and they may be able to do an ultrasound for you? Of course, they are not gynaecologists, but I do get that the risk of it attracting too much attention in a normal gynaecology practice might be too high.”

“Is Torchwood going to hurt my baby though?” While Rose did work for them now, she did remember that Torchwood in her old universe operated on the premise that if something was alien, it was theirs. And she was not going to let her child become a specimen in their collection.

“Rose, no… You know, Pete and me, after all that happened, the old Torchwood got dissolved and we started over. And you’re with us now too. You will be fine, I promise.”

Well, what choice did she have... If the baby has two hearts, it would end up at Torchwood one way or the other anyway, probably, if she went to see any other gynaecologist. 

Her best bet might be to just trust Mickey and hope that he and Pete were influential enough to protect her and the small life that may have just begun.

“Okay, then. Who do I ask about an appointment?” 

“I will need to look it up in the online system – I could call for you, if you like?”

“Thank you, Mickey. You’re such a good friend. I... I am really glad to have you.“

He smiled a bit melancholically.

“I do my best, Rose Tyler. Everything for you.”

He was so kind, and his kindness made Rose feel really guilty about how she had treated him in the past. She couldn’t and wouldn’t change falling for the doctor, but she shouldn’t have left Mickey up in the air about their relationship status. 

“I am really sorry, Mickey, that I don’t... that we didn’t... work out. I’m sorry that I never gave you a proper conversation about it. And now is probably also not the time... but do know that I’m sorry. You’re a great guy, I just... I needed someone like the Doctor, someone fun, adventurous. And compared to what I am feeling for him, we just didn’t...” 

She stopped, as she wasn’t sure whether she was making matters worse. There was a reason she avoided this conversation. But Mickey seemed like he wasn’t too upset by all of it.

“It’s alright, Rose, really, it’s old news. Don’t worry about me... I gotta go. Got an appointment to make and all...” 

Rose wasn’t sure how serious he was, but evidently he didn’t want to talk about it. 

“Sorry for bringing it up again. I just felt guilty you never got that explanation from me. Anyway... goodbye, Mickey. You’ll always be one of my best friends.” 

He hugged her as he said goodbye, off to make the appointment.

A few hours later it was confirmed that Rose was going to see the medical department in Torchwood tomorrow. She was nervous. This was all becoming real. She would be a twenty one year old single mother with a potentially alien baby.

How she wished the Doctor was by her side. It would make everything so much easier… And she just missed him, missed his stupid laugh, his smile… the look in his eyes when he saw her, so kind… that it almost made her believe that he loved her too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As some of you may have noticed by lack of reference to it, I decided to go AU in one further aspect: Rose will probably not have a brother. I might revisit the concept later but as of now, I am working on the assumption that Rose did not tell the Doctor about any new Tylers and that Jackie is not pregnant.
> 
> On another note, the next chapter might be from the Doctor's perspective. At least I am working on that right now. I might decide to abandon that idea and am still undecided how much I am going to use it. 
> 
> Also, I do appreciate every bit of feedback. So any thoughts at all, positive and negative, do let me know below! I hope you're enjoying it and if not, do tell me what to do better!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While saving Donna on Christmas Day, the Doctor finds himself reminded of Rose everywhere he goes. How can he go on from here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the chapter narrated from the Doctor's perspective. I am not entirely happy with it (I had a bit of a block to be honest) but I am mostly happy and very happy to hear your suggestions on what to do better. I am also torn on whether to do more of the Doctor's POV in the future, or whether I will tell this story purely from Rose's POV from now on. Let me know what you think! 
> 
> This is set during the Christmas Special with Donna, the first episode after Rose's departure and is mainly about the Doctor thinking back and reflecting on his time with Rose and how much he misses her now (a lot of pining, I'm sorry!). 
> 
> I was also obsessed with this song from the first time I watched the episode, so I absolutely had to incorporate it.

_“Well, you took me in, you stole my heart,_

_I cannot roam no more._

_Because love, it stays within you,_

_It does not wash up on a shore.”_

(Love Don’t Roam – Neil Hannon)

At what was supposed to be Donna’s wedding reception, the Doctor was mainly occupied with two things – he needed to find out who was responsible for what happened to Donna, and he needed to find a way to stop them.

After finding out that Torchwood seemed to be entangled with what happened to Donna – a very concerning find indeed - he glanced over at the dance floor, where Donna and Lance and all the guests were dancing, happily, to a song he had never heard before, he saw a blonde on the dance floor. He froze for a moment – that couldn’t be her, could it? Of course it was not Rose, yet he did have a glimmer of hope for a split second.

Rose. They had danced before. He remembered vividly how upset he was that she thought he did not ‘dance’. And then they danced that night, after surviving the Blitz in London.

He did not remember whether that was when he fell in love with her, he just remembered that then, when he looked into her eyes, when he took her hand and spun her around, he was absolutely and irrevocably in love with her.

Well, they actually danced, they didn’t ‘dance’ – well, at least they had not done that at this time. They did, eventually, but while he would never undo being this close to the woman he loved, he did regret the way it had happened.

And above all, he regretted never talking about it before it was too late.

Rose must think it did not mean anything to him – since he did not even get to finish that sentence, to tell her that yes, yes, he loved her, more than anything else in this entire universe, and the thought of losing her and saving the universe just did not seem fair anymore.

It can’t be over yet because there is yet so much he had to say to her. They had always left so much unspoken, the silence between them always full of words that they could not say and yet desperately needed to.

When he was cut off before he could tell her he loved her, the words he had to swallow felt like they were burning up his throat, setting his lungs on fire.

For a moment, he just stood and watched those people, those ordinary, happy people, dancing and enjoying themselves. With their wives and husbands, their partners, their families. The one adventure he could never have. And yet it seemed like this, the one thing he could not have, was what he now felt he needed.

He had never wanted to settle down before, with anyone. He would not have done it for the world. He thought back at the conversation he and Rose had had on Krop Tor, talking about mortgages. Back then, he thought there was nothing worse than having to get a mortgage, way too domestic for him.

. Being with Rose was the first thing, the only thing, that had made him truly happy after the horror of the Time War. He had finally got to genuinely be happy again. And then, as it goes, the one thing that had made him happy, was taken away from him, yet another time. It seems like the fate of the time lords is to always lose everything and anything that is dear to them.

Well, the one single time lord, that still exists. Yet another reminder of losing everything that is dear to him.

He swallowed. Everything felt so heavy since Rose was gone. Really, it had felt heavy for a long time. But with her, it had been like the weight was lifted off his shoulder. Everything had suddenly felt light, he felt like he was flying above the ground, dancing through the world, with his precious girl holding his hand.

And now he was back where he came from, weighed down by everything that had happened, standing here, saving the world and its people, as he always does. But it was not the same without his precious Rose.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Her name was Rose,” he said, feeling his eyes watering, staring at Donna. Damn. This was not supposed to happen.

During all that went down that night, all the mess and the adventure, he had nearly been able to push aside the thought of Rose.

Not that he could ever push the thought of her fully aside, but he had been able to focus on other things, on saving the world, on saving Donna.

Now that everything had quieted down, he felt an uncontrollable wave of sadness hitting him, making him feel as if he was about to drown.

Maybe he had to keep himself busy, so that he did not break down. He had to fill his mind with other things – because otherwise, he was not sure whether he could survive this.

He had survived a lot, including the destruction of even his own planet, but nothing had ever devastated him to the same scale as this.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

When he was back in the control room, he half-fell and half-sat down with his back against the main console. One tear was rolling down his face. Then there were many, many tears. Streaming down his face.

He hadn’t allowed himself to cry for a long time, but tonight, now, he needed to grieve. Grieve everyone and everything he had lost in his life.

This was the curse of his long life. Losing everyone he loved, everything that was dear to him, over and over again. And he had known this from the start, that he would have to lose Rose eventually too.

But he did not expect it to end like this, her being ripped from his side so abruptly, so violently. And so irrevocably.

For once, there was nothing he could do to save the day, nothing he could do to bring her back.

And he would have to go on, seeing the universe, saving the universe, meeting new people, seeing old faces. While it felt like everything had just stopped now that Rose was gone, taken from him, he had to go on. He was needed.

He wiped the tears off his face with the sleeve of his coat, rubbing his face to clear up his head. He stood up slowly and walked away. He had to live on.


End file.
